Life really begins again...

As you all probably know by now...

We are finally expecting another baby! It is been another long wait (we did with E too), but know that much of it is to do with the fact that I now have time to relax and de-stress enough to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

However, am I too old for this? Has it been too long? I don't often change diapers and both of my kids have been out of those for 3.5 years. Both are going to be in school full time in September. The baby arrives around October 18th (2 days before E & my birthday). Can I handle school schedule and no sleep at night? What about nursings and homework? I was finally starting to feel like myself again (hormones, sleep, baby brain that lasts forever, energy...) and I'm going back to those really difficult days. For awhile I did not want to tell anyone because I was not ready to face all my uncertainties and concerns...but then the ultrasounds came!

Don't get me wrong, we have ached for this baby for almost 4 years and I had confronted my own fears and come to accept that we may be done and my babies are grown. From the moment I found out I was gleeful in anticipation and feeling like we were worthy of this blessing (only those who face issues with fertility can understand that one), but um....buyers remorse? Am I really ready?

Morning sickness kicked my butt! I'm at week 15 and just ate my first meal in months. Still sick each morning, but at least I can eat the rest of the day so I can stop losing weight. And fatigue...the kids have already had a few days of tv while I collapsed nearby for a few hours! This is where I feel too old, but then I remember that this is always what pregnancy is like for me.

So the ultrasounds reminded me of cute baby booties and the sweet smell of a clean baby. Their adorable chubby ripples and dimples. Beginner smiles and baby babble. There's nothing more heavenly than a new baby! In the most recent ultrasound s/he waved and hiccupped and sucked on their thumb. I was quite a showing and a huge moment of bonding! I can't wait for the next one (June 3rd we can find out boy or girl).

E & A are ecstatic! E especially has wanted a baby since A started getting too big to hold :) She loves holding and amusing little ones. She wants to change diapers! She desperately wants to be a little mama and be the center of love for a babe. She gets giddy! A is a boy...excited, but setting limits from the beginning- no diapers!

A baby brings the family together and helps you feel even more united. It makes everyone want to just be home together enjoying the amusement.

We all can't wait! As for hesitations...that is a part of parenthood at every stage!