20.10.08

Another year older...maybe.

Do you get nostalgic at your birthday? I always have. To me, High School was perfect: my parents were clueless and didn't really keep tabs on me or have curfews or anything so I had so much freedom, but I recognized that life would never be so free from responsibility as it was at that moment. I savored it...middle school and the emotional issues of the time were over. I could be happy, involved in anything and everything at school and "fall in love" at any time...knowing it was just high school and the seriousness of a relationship was short term and could end with PMS. I knew that despite the heartache and tears that came with HS, life was blissfully easy. It all had a deadline: graduation. After that, well...it seems that the only deadline for accomplishing life is death. That is too long and too overwhelming.

I cried the day I turned 20...the teens were officially over and I had to grow up. I had a blast in college, but it was all so serious with complicated consequences around every corner. I mourned the freedom and ease that I knew was over. Every year since has not been such a big deal because turning 20 was so dramatically devastating to me. So...now I"m 30 (again) and I think I'll just stay here because you are almost in your 20's at 30 and you should have your life together by the time you are in your 30's. I'm not there yet...so I'm trying it all again and see if I can improve this year more than I did the last...see if I can pull off this thing called "adulthood" or not. Yes, you may all write in your notes and courteously disagree, but as they say, "it is what is inside that counts." So, I'll respectfully disagree with you...and appreciate your trying to convince me to embrace my age and place in life. I don't want to get old and boring...so give me 20 years or so and I'll take that step and become 31 at last...and be quite eccentric!

How have you embraced your age? or denied it? What was your "perfect point"?

27.9.08

you like my peanuts?

TOTALLY true story...
Boy is basically potty trained and now loves his cute little body even more. He also loves to run out of the bathroom yelling, "I Naked Boy!" So here's the topper:

Boy: (comes out of the potty in only a t-shirt to me and Girl) you like my penis? (sounds like peanuts sometimes)

Girl: (without missing a beat) Yeah, nice penis!

Boy: yeah, nice penis.

Me: where are your pull-ups? (stifled laugh)

9.9.08

9/11 again...(this may be too depressing, read only if you are ready to)



Here comes September 11th again. It always makes me thankful for my family and especially for my husband. September 11, 2001 and we had only been married for a year and a half, had moved to LA, CA and back again to NJ. Matt was working in the city at the very bottom of the island. It was a scary day for all and I knew as it was happening that I was lucky, that Matt was going to be safe. That many were not. Our little town lost 14 people that day. And it was a very little town. I put myself into total denial to pull through and be strong for my hubby. One year later I found myself alone at home watching
the memorial and finally grieving, finally crying. I journaled for three hours while watching the ceremonies. Later, I added the pictures of our first trip back to the footprints with Matt's parents. It was a hard day on all of us. I want to share some of my journaling from that day...

"At home I felt like my world was coming to an end though- 17 messages on our answering machine. As each played I became more and more worried....towards the end there was a message from Matt. He said he was okay, but they were not able to go outside. He could not see out the windows-it was pitch black from after the towers collapsed. I tried calling. Phone lines were out all over. Calls could come in though. (hours later) People were walking up to the GWB. Walking was the only way out. Matt was South of the towers- he would have to go through it. (He actually walked up the island towards the GWB, everyone did) I never could connect to Matt's office. I was still scared...who knew if it was all over or not. He did call me eventually- from a pay phone. (This is why we will always have cell phones, even if we cannot afford it) Could I come get him in Fort Lee, NJ? He would soon be getting on a bus to go across the bridge. I was soo thrilled. I called up Jan Mathusek, from church, who was helping me out. She helped me figure out where I'd most likely see him and lent me her cell phone...the roads I needed were all closed. Heavenly Father was guiding me though- I just felt which way to go. I was about to circle again when I stopped at a red light and Matt and I saw each other. He ran across the street and jumped in the car. He was covered in dust? ashes? probably both. Everyone was. People were lined up on the corners taking any ride they could get. All buses were just shuttling back and forth across the bridge, no where else. (Jan and Fred later went back to give people rides.) We went straight to the Church to a meeting they were having to mourn, make sure everyone was okay, and to talk for therapy. Everyone was so glad to see Matt- in our ward he was closest- 5 blocks and the last unknown. So many prayers were uttered that day. I'm grateful that God answered mine. This was the last part of that ordeal and the first of the following battle of depression and dealing with surviving and living in that area...(on TV) Family members have been gathering dirt into empty juice bottles- something to take back, to bury, to scatter."
And later we went to the footprints..."While I was there I pictured the horrible smell, office papers still falling, and the office remnants strewn about the street-just as Matt had experienced. (He said that was the unforgettable impression...personal things that had been used just hours before he saw them) I cried while walking around. You could feel the spirits at Ground Zero- they felt close and that they were very much at peace."

The image that will forever stand out in my mind was seeing Matt completely covered...and I just felt like he was covered in people. Cleaning off his shoes later, scrubbing them clean again...I could only picture the people who were gone. Matt was not allowed back to work for a bit. They had to check on structural damage and quite honestly, there wasn't a way back in down there for a week or two. His commute was forever changed...his train line had gone directly under the towers. This year I am once again nervous, but breathe a sigh of relief that we got past it and are stronger because of it. Mostly, that Matt no longer has to work in the city. It is nice to know that he is in NJ and has access to a car all day while he is gone from home. Grateful that all my friends were safe too. Some had to dive under their desks and another into a closet to escape the shattering glass as the towers across the street collapsed then race for the ferries to get to Jersey before the ferries were shut down for emergency supplies and for delivering the body bags. My father in law was on a conference call to the NY office that was interrupted as their colleagues were told to evacuate...they did not all make it, they were too high up. Let us not forget how blessed we are. Let us pray for those who still mourn and all the children in the tri-state area who lost a parent. Let us pray for safety and the guidance of the Holy Ghost, for that is what kept so many loved ones safe.

I'm so sorry if I stirred up emotions you did not want to remember, but I wanted to share...for there are many of you who read this who were not here. This time of year, our home weeps and all those who live here change for a day or two or more...and this is why. My prayers are with you all.

7.9.08

weirdness on facebook...

My BYU Freshman ward tracked me down and I got an email to be "friends" with a girl who was never really my friend there. A weird rush of relief came across me...I can search her site and not discover that she is either drunk or gay (FYI...TONS of HS friends have found me and that is what I keep seeing...very disappointing, not surprising, very sad). I was happy to know that it would be a nice happy family page and interesting to see where she ended up...while trying to remember which one she was. Then I found the BYU 57th Ward '96-'97 members club and saw the old directory, how many people commented on that they still had theirs too (that is a little weird) and all the updates of those who have already joined this club. I did find my first Home Teacher, Nate the great, and quickly sent out to be his friend. He was awesome and sooo sweet. We became fast friends and he dated my BF for a bit (ever hear of the 14 cent date? They invented it...share a popcicle at the creamery and a walk). I also found the pic of my first roomie and a huge amount of memories waiting for me...

I must share this b/c you will not believe it! My first roommate was Kim. They say you cannot change rooms before Christmas, but they made an exception for us after we pent up a lot of anger and fought it out in a fist fight and hair pulling match up and down our dorm hall. Yeah, this is probably something I would not usually put out there, but it is just such a funny picture of an all out cat fight in U-hall of DT. Yes, I can hold my own and no...nothing was broken. We actually pulled off the whole thing with fake smiles trying to make those watching think it wasn't that serious and also to keep it from getting that serious. Why? Let's just say that although BYU was her lifelong dream (NOT mine) she apparently never read any rules about moral standards. Or, I guess she did since she felt so guilty that she told everyone in my ward that I was doing those things...I guess that is a partial confession? Anyway, they used to hold "meetings" in MY room about me and I could hear her down the hall describing to much of our RS all "my" sins. And they believed it. That is what hurt. I was a total Jersey girl and one of two in the ward who didn't think it was improper to call a boy and ask him out AND to go on dates with many of the guys to get to know them instead of just eye-ing one and making him cookies. They believed her...until she got caught and was asked to leave. Most of the girls still hated me though and told me so.

So...if I seem jaded by Utah, this was my first introduction. I was very grateful for the torment experienced in middle school for not being rich enough. I had already experienced that lame war. I had already learned how dangerous girls can be in a group. I had already discovered my inner strength and confidence. I knew it would blow over and that I was only a temporary part of that ward. I discovered though that religion does not necessarily make a difference. I saw the same in the "scary" Jersey girls that so many people want to keep their kids from as I did in these righteous young women. We all have something to outgrow and it doesn't matter where you are from. I guess that is part of why I get defensive when people worry so much about their kids growing up in Jersey...it can happen anywhere.

So here's the weirdness part: There was so much emotion there that I still felt so tied to and interested in these sisters...even after all of that. I guess that is what family is about...even temporary family- there is good and bad and you accept it all.

By the way, I also met 2 of my best friends in that ward...we really stood by each other for a long time...I miss them. It was a lot of fun in the beginning and by the end I had made a few friends...all from the east coast actually.

Do you find that you still feel positive connections to that which was painful? Maybe it is the growth that we yearn to remember and relive from our trials?

(PS- I also saw and remembered Veldon, the boy who asked me out by throwing and hitting me in the head with a note wrapped around a slightly broken basket filled with stale candy...sometimes I really hated being asked out!)

5.9.08

knock on wood...

Okay, maybe I am just jinxing myself, but...I think Boy is potty trained! (KNOCK ON WOOD) yesterday he was much better and then...tadaaaa...no wet spot just before getting to the potty. Today was only successes and he held it in public

....auuughhhhhghhhhhauaaaaghhh. RIGHT after typing that sentence he peed all over the floor. I could not have choreographed that better even if I had done it on purpose/written it for TV. Yep, I cursed myself. Oh Well.

The reality is though that he is doing quite well and he is out of diapers. Pull-ups for one box...then he'll be done, right?
I was originally going to write, "Don't be jealous that it happened so fast...", but now I leave you with these words: "Don't laugh too hard at me, you might wet your pants!"

28.8.08

Biting The Bullet...

Potty training Boy...he's 3 already so it is well overdue. (We've tried since he was just over 2 every few months to gauge his readiness.) So, I am not going to buy any more diapers. I'm biting the bullet and training him. He refuses to participate in the "tons-of practice-load-'em-up on liquids" successful method I used on Girl. So, instead I have borrowed a steam cleaner from a wonderful and giving friend and he is running around the house in his superman/diego/transformer/dinosaur underwear peeing on every hard surface below him. Luckily, he seems to dislike peeing on the carpet and couch! :) So, it is not even lunchtime and he has had 6 accidents.
He is so proud each time he goes on the floor. Here's the thing: I'm proud he notices!!!! We tried two months ago and he kept peeing on himself and his toys (I only allowed the hard, washable ones) and he DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!?! So, hooray...he notices now! I do give him one mini kisses candy for washing his hands and sitting on the potty while I clean up the mess. There is something positive going on and there is a minor improvement...I'll take what I can get! As for Girl...I used the "Potty training in a day or less" book (I did this with a little girl I nannied too) and had complete success with both. Each were done within a few days and just needed some reminders and wiping help for maybe two months? Yes, boys are different in many ways beyond anatomy! I have hope though...thanks to a generous friends and a little steamy elbow grease, we'll make it through without a smelly home!
How have you survived potty training?

20.8.08

a favorite image...

okay, so I was just reminded of a favorite image and had to share...

you know how there are joggers every morning and evening? especially women walking and jogging in pairs as they delight in conversations between heavy breathing? Sometimes they are normal weight and I think, "good for them...looks like fun...I should do that..." then there are the super skinny ones and I think, "I hate them. look they walk around a bit and they are skinny." then there are the teenagers barely walking, "they are just out looking to see who will look at them" (because only teenagers "exercise" bra-less in tank tops). then there are the elderly in REALLY bright colors barely making it, but hooray for them for not giving up? My favorite image came from an unlikely pair:
two super skinny older women power walking down the street in conversation...each had a diet coke in one hand and their cigarette in the other!
It was like sending a direct invitation to the angel of death: lung cancer, heart attack, asthma...many more I'm sure! They had their hair up in ponytails too! It was just too funny and something I will never forget! Do you have one?

22.7.08

"A whole new world"

Two years ago Girl was Boy's age and we were at a family reunion in CA. It was such a special moment to introduce her to the ocean. We played in the waves for hours...I would hold her and we would ride them as much as we could with it only coming to my shoulders. And this 4th of July we went to LBI (Long Beach Island) it was my chance to introduce Boy to the ocean. It was too freezing to really go out in the water, but it was still magical. There is something about feeling small in a great big ocean and showing an entirely new world to your child. We found tons of clam shells and my friend (can you guess her by her behind?) even caught a live clam! If you want to see more pics...look me up on facebook (if they ever let me upload!). It was a very overcast day and we were not sure if we could even enjoy the beach, but I said a prayer that we would somehow salvage our trip (the campsite was crummy) and this day ended up being a favorite! It was relaxing, exciting and educational for the kids. It will be inscribed in my memory like our trip to CA...

14.7.08

late night RS emails...

I'm sooo tired and I have to get ready for camping for the weekend and I just got back from the laundromat, but have been doing RS emails for FOREVER this evening. So I'll be short before I fall asleep...there is way to much to be done and the emails can go on forever! BUT it is so nice to be comfortable at home and getting so much done with out finding a sitter, spending a fortune on gas, getting lost (i always do)and being away from home. Without email I do not think that I could hold this calling...without neglecting my kids and heading for divorce, that is! how did my mom do it 25 years ago and with 5 kids at the time?!? GOODNIGHT!

21.6.08

here I go...?

hello bloggers...here I pretend to go and try to figure out what I am doing!
There is a new obsession in our house: I am superman, Boy is always spiderman and Girl is always batman. We drive in a supervan, but the people don't know that is is us because we have our secret identities. Hubby has started all of this...he took Girl to a comic store weeks ago and she discovered that by playing his games, she scores bonus attention points ;)
We are having tons of fun at the pool and getting plenty of sunshine and exercise. So, if kyou live nearby...come and enjoy a free day at the pool!
Well, since this is totally lame I'll sign off for now and fix it later!