Life really begins again...

As you all probably know by now...

We are finally expecting another baby! It is been another long wait (we did with E too), but know that much of it is to do with the fact that I now have time to relax and de-stress enough to have a healthy pregnancy and baby.

However, am I too old for this? Has it been too long? I don't often change diapers and both of my kids have been out of those for 3.5 years. Both are going to be in school full time in September. The baby arrives around October 18th (2 days before E & my birthday). Can I handle school schedule and no sleep at night? What about nursings and homework? I was finally starting to feel like myself again (hormones, sleep, baby brain that lasts forever, energy...) and I'm going back to those really difficult days. For awhile I did not want to tell anyone because I was not ready to face all my uncertainties and concerns...but then the ultrasounds came!

Don't get me wrong, we have ached for this baby for almost 4 years and I had confronted my own fears and come to accept that we may be done and my babies are grown. From the moment I found out I was gleeful in anticipation and feeling like we were worthy of this blessing (only those who face issues with fertility can understand that one), but um....buyers remorse? Am I really ready?

Morning sickness kicked my butt! I'm at week 15 and just ate my first meal in months. Still sick each morning, but at least I can eat the rest of the day so I can stop losing weight. And fatigue...the kids have already had a few days of tv while I collapsed nearby for a few hours! This is where I feel too old, but then I remember that this is always what pregnancy is like for me.

So the ultrasounds reminded me of cute baby booties and the sweet smell of a clean baby. Their adorable chubby ripples and dimples. Beginner smiles and baby babble. There's nothing more heavenly than a new baby! In the most recent ultrasound s/he waved and hiccupped and sucked on their thumb. I was quite a showing and a huge moment of bonding! I can't wait for the next one (June 3rd we can find out boy or girl).

E & A are ecstatic! E especially has wanted a baby since A started getting too big to hold :) She loves holding and amusing little ones. She wants to change diapers! She desperately wants to be a little mama and be the center of love for a babe. She gets giddy! A is a boy...excited, but setting limits from the beginning- no diapers!

A baby brings the family together and helps you feel even more united. It makes everyone want to just be home together enjoying the amusement.

We all can't wait! As for hesitations...that is a part of parenthood at every stage!

Life begins again...

I realized how long it has been since I tried using my blog for communication. I realize I ended when I started as Relief Society President (or soon after is when I gave up hope). Now I don't have that constant time eater and my kids are in school (one full day, one half day) so maybe it is time to find my good intentions once again:).

New Jersey is still cold and I can't wait for spring weather and planting my garden. I moved it to a sunnier spot this year and look forward to watering it while watching the sunsets each night! My life is changing again and I'm glad it is all stuff I look forward to this time! A lot less anxiety and stress is going to be the best gift this year!

Easter is coming soon too. I love decorating eggs, pretty dresses and FHEs focusing on the Savior. We wanted to decorate the trees today with plastic eggs, but it is raining...maybe tomorrow!

I will challenge myself to actually update regularly...inspired by my sisters...blogs and emails make a difference in keeping a family close. I'm feeling so scattered right now so I won't fill this with any more random thoughts. Just know that once again, I have good intentions!!!

okay...here was my first pregnancy. after this I still had almost 2 months before she was born. you see all those stretch marks? disturbing, huh? they are all inflamed and red b/c of p.u.p.s...never heard of it? it is basically what happens when your body decides to be allergic to pregnancy and it itches so much it burns. hydrocortizone and benadryl became my best friends. :) this photo just really takes me back :)

Time with my boy

My sweet cheezy boy...with his sister off to school I've been delighting in it just being the two of us. I think it may have to do with being #4 of 6 kids. It is just so nice to feel like I'm doing a good job and I know a lot of that is just having quiet in the morning. That kid is in love with trains and he can just play by himself and coming up with new "thomas scenerios" (maybe that is how they get their ideas?) for an hour while I either get work done, phone calls made or even just relaxing a bit. Next year he goes to 1/2 day kindergarten and unless something changes I will be all alone for half a day and with just him the other half...it will be weird, but I think I'll manage with a smile :) I love my kids, but they are so noisy! Maybe I'll finally scrap all their baby pictures!?!

Here is my sweet boy getting the salad ready for our first dinner when my mom was here. He was so cute using scissors to cut the lettuce, spinach, chives and basil. It was so yummy! Of course, nothing has been growing so well in pots this year with too much rain and not enough sun! I can't wait to grow a real garden at our new house. I think I will take the kids to the pool this afternoon. Swimming anyone? Big pool!!!! Fun with me and the kids! :)

Our first home

Here is our first home. We still have to solidify the mortgage today and lock in an interest rate when we see one we like, but the inspection went unusually well and we are ready to go! We can move in by July 31st, but hopefully a bit sooner! It is a 1968 split level with a huge yard, smaller rooms and plenty of storage! We are soooo excited and if you want all the pics...visit me on facebook for now. Maybe I'll find time to add more here later :)

a mama-daughter date

For the annual church father-son campout my darling daughter and I had our own fun... After gymnastics we went to michaels to pick out matching ceramic bobblehead cats to paint and we decided on a nice wooden birdhouse to paint for our new home. After painting we went to olive garden for our "fancy dinner" where we had bruscetta, salad, yummy spinach and cheese rolled into lasagna noodles topped in sausage and sauce and a chocolate dessert. E tried to eat her breadsticks so fancy that she began to delight all the diners around us. Many times she broke into a slightly british accent with "oh yes, that would be perfect!" and "this is delicious! It is the best meal in my entire life!" She learned about appetizers and salad forks and kept her napkin on her lap and gingerly dabbed her face with it. Of course, she also blew bubbles into her fancy raspberry lemonade and rocked in the booster seat (the booth seats were so low she couldn't reach her straw)! AND we did dress up and do our hair! One mom said we looked like we were having the best time and said she realized she needed to go on a date with her 12 year old daughter. (I do recommend it!) In the middle of a bruschetta bite we spoke of how daddy and her brother were eating hotdogs and marshmallows right about then.
After about 1 hour into our afternoon she started talking about how she missed her brother and had to call them...they fight, but love each other dearly. Tomorrow our plans consist of baking muffins for breakfast and snuggling in my bed and reading another junie b. jones book.
Turned out to be the best girls night out ever!!! If you haven't "dated" your child...go plan something special now while they still like you! :)